77 Funniest Love Phrases That Will Make You Laugh (2023)

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1 Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

2 People who blow kisses are really lazy. If you liked this funny quotes about love by Bob Hope, check out the bestBob Hope Quotes and Jokes

3 Romance is the icing on the cake, and love is the cake. anonymous

4 Where there is love, the doctor is a jerk. british proverb

5 Love is the same as liking, only you feel sexier. Judith Vioster

6 A kiss is a pink spot on the loving self. Serrano de Bergerac

7 He is not kissing her, but whispering on her lips! boy marx

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8 The best birth control I have right now is to leave the lights on.juana rios

9 If the answer is love, can you rephrase the question? lily tomlin

10 Women need a reason to have sex**. Men just need a place. billy crystal

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11 Love is a dream, marriage is an alarm clock. jewish proverb

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12. I was married to a judge. I should ask a jury.Groucho Marx

13 A kiss without a beard is like an egg without salt. spanish proverb

14 I attended a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. jack benny

He gave her a look that looked like it was spilled on a waffle. radner ring

16 What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey

17 If the answer is love, can you rephrase the question? lily tomlin

18 Love is telling someone they look cool with hair extensions. Natasha Legro

19 Romantic love is a mental illness. But it's delightful. Frank Lebowitz

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20. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turned out I was just total. brand russell

21 Gravity is not responsible for someone who falls in love.albert einstein

22 If you can last more than two years in love, then you have succeeded. Frank Lebowitz

23 If you can last more than two years in love, then you have succeeded. Frank Lebowitz

24 Honesty is the key to maintaining a relationship. If you can fake this, you've succeeded. Richard Jenny

25 Now I'm making a Jewish porn movie. 10% sex, 90% guilt. Henny Young

26. Marry a man your own age; when your beauty fades, so will her vision. Phyllis Diller

27. Don't make love at the garden gate. Love is blind, but neighbors are not. anonymous

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28 Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put in. Phyllis Schlafle

29 What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 lbs. cindy garner

30 In the United States, 80 percent of married men cheat. The rest cheat in Europe. jackie mason

31. Falling in love is very easy, but falling out of love is terrible. anonymous

32. Love for the elderly is like the sun on the snow, it is not only warm, but also dazzling. J.P. Senn

33 A woman only needs three things in her life: food, water and praise.Chris Rock

34. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much? Gene Yearsley Clark

35 Marriage is really hard because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Richard Pryor

36. A man knows he is in love when he loses interest in his car for a few days. Tim Allen

37 My brother is gay, as long as he marries a doctor, my parents don't care. Ilan Busler

38 When you're in love, those are the two and a half days of your life. Richard Lewis

39. My friends tell me I have relationship problems. But they don't really know me. Gary Shandling

40 Marriage is like a vitamin: we supplement each other's minimum daily needs. Kathy Mohnke

41 Love doesn't make the world go round. Love makes this journey worthwhile. franklin jones

42 Women can no longer complain about men unless they start liking men more. Bill Maher

43 All the money I earn goes to my wife. All I get is an apple and clean clothes every morning. Romeray

44 Love is a lot like back pain, it won't show up on an X-ray, but you know it's there. george burns

45 Marriage is not guaranteed. If that's what you're looking for, use a car battery. Elma Bombeck

46 Marriage is like a bank account. You put it on, you take it off, and you lose interest. Professor Owen Curry

47 A good marriage is like a pot, and only the person in charge of it really knows what's in it. anonymous

48 My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked, now she is afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield

49 What is the best way for your husband to mark your anniversary? Get married on your birthday. cindy garner

50 Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for answers, sex raises some good questions.woody allen

51. If a person can distinguish true love from false love, it is like distinguishing mushrooms from poisonous mushrooms. Katherine Mansfield

52 Women expect men to change after marriage, but they don't; men hope women don't change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

53. True love comes in silence, without flags or flashing lights. If you hear ringing, check your ears. Erich Siegel

54. Love is a fire. But whether it will heat your home or set it on fire, you never know.Joan Crawford

55 I like getting married. It's great to find that special someone who will haunt you for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

56 Must get married. If you can marry a good wife, you will be happy. If you don't do well on the test, you become a philosopher.Socrates

57 In love, for some reason, a man's heart is always in overdrive, or stops in the wrong place. Roland

58 There was a man whose soul was dead who never said to his wife, "Damn breakfast, go back to bed." Anonymous

59 Marriage is a lot like the military, everyone complains, but you'd be surprised how many people re-enlist. james garner

60 An archaeologist is a woman's best husband; the older she is, the more interested he is in her. Christy Agatha

61 The same day I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette. I haven't had time to smoke since then. Arturo Toscanini

62 Being a good husband is like being a comedian. You need ten years to call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld

63. Love will not come to you suddenly, but will come to you suddenly. You have to signal, just like a radio amateur. Helen Gurley Brown

64 Marriage is like walking with a cane, doing somersaults, and eating with chopsticks. It seems easy until you try. helen rowland

65 I know a man who gave up smoking, alcohol, sex and greasy food. He had been healthy until his suicide. carson

66 True love equals hiding the truth, even when there is a perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. David Sedaris

67 There is nothing better, mentally or physically, than love. Elevate the mind and flatten the tummy. Barbara Hall

68 Before you marry someone, you have to put them on a computer with a slow internet connection to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

69. If you text someone "I love you" and they respond with an emoji, you won't get love back, no matter what the emoji is. Chelsea Peretti

70 When a young couple very much in love starts eating onions, it is safe to announce their engagement. James Montgomery Bailey

71 Being in love is far better than being in a car accident, belt-tightening, higher tax brackets, or the Philly holding model. Judith Vioster

72 Marriage is not just spiritual communication and passionate embrace; marriage is also three meals a day, remember to take out the trash. joyce brothers

73 Obviously, if I'm serious about starting a long-term relationship with someone, the last people I introduce them to will be my family. chelsea coach

74. If you love them in the morning with scab-covered eyes; if you love them in curly hair at night, then you're probably in love. Miles Davis

75 My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years, and we have never had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. jack benny

76 Marrying a man is like buying something in a shop window that you have admired for a long time. You might love it when you bring it home, but it doesn't always work well with other things. Jean Kerr

77 My wife is emotional. Once on Valentine's Day, I gave her a ring, and she has never forgotten the three small words engraved on it: Made in Taiwan! Leopold Facner

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